


Life Extension Program

by midnightsharks



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Harry being dramatic af, Humor, M/M, Zombies, some hints of necrophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 09:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16889964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightsharks/pseuds/midnightsharks
Summary: When the zombie outbreak happened, it was a letdown for some people. But for Harry Hart, the man famously known for having stuffed his dead pet dog, this was an opportunity.





	Life Extension Program

**Author's Note:**

> Warning : Major Character Death and some hints of necrophilia
> 
> This is an old work in my Tumblr page. Moving my fics one at a time cuz we'll never know.

When the zombie outbreak happened, it was a letdown for some people. These were the types who had stocked up enough artillery to equip a small army, believing in the higher power of the Almighty but collecting C4s and uzi’s in case the devil dare knock on their door.

The first incident, Patient 0 , shuffled around and walked like a decrepit old man, too weak to even grab much less bite a victim.

It’s intended victim smashed her handbag on zombie’s face, having been trained to ward off unsavory advances of men on drunken pub parties since puberty.

People soon found out that the ‘zombie virus’ only affected dead people and it was generally harmless . Harmless in a way that rigor mortis and missing body parts entirely hindered chasing and biting other populace.

Merlin should have gotten a clue from Mr. Pickle in Harry’s loo.

Eggsy’s demise was unfortunate for all, most especially from Harry. Harry who not only recruited the boy but had developed less than platonic mentor-mentee feelings toward his protegee.

Cause of death was gas poisoning from Eggsy’s last mission in the hidden part of South Africa. Harry was inconsolable when Eggsy’s body was brought back.

When Eggsy’s corpse disappeared and was replaced by an urn for the agency to bury, Merlin had his suspicions.

Harry was missing in the wake and Eggsy’s burial ceremony. Merlin wouldn’t partially blame him when Eggsy’s mother , Michelle, was out for blood. It would not end well ,to put it lightly, when Michelle would realize that Harry however indirectly it may seem was the cause of both her son and husband’s death.

Merlin knocked on Harry’s door a couple of weeks later just to see that Harry hadn’t drowned himself to death in liquor.

The door opened and Harry was alright so to speak.

There was no smell of alcohol and Harry seemed not too distraught which raised Merlin’s internal alarm.

“I dropped by to check on you.” Merlin said, curious that Harry was still blocking the entrance to his house.

“Well, I’m fine as you can see.”

Merlin tried to push his way in and Harry was immovable where he stood.  Very curious indeed.

“What are you hiding ? “ Merline eyed Harry suspiciously.

“ I can’t believe what you’re saying.” Harry argued.” Are you looking forward to see me break down and be desolate about Eggsy’s death? I am coping albeit barely. I’m busy now bugger off.”

Just behind Harry, Merlin could see someone walking by.

“Do you have a guest?”

“Yes, go away. “

It was ridiculous but Merlin had to try his hunch.

“ Eggsy!” Merlin called out loud.

“Eggsy’s dead, Merlin.” Harry said, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

But Harry’s dramatic weeping had been interrupted by an answering moan echoing in the living room.

“OH YOU BASTARD!” Merlin barreled through the front door and marched inside the house. “If you did what I think you did, I’m gonna kill you.”

And there was Eggsy in the living room, undead  and wearing Harry’s shirt and booty shorts.

Merlin turned around to glare at him accusingly.

“What can I say? " Harry shrugged, “ I’m a lonely sentimental fool who has hoarding problems. “

The quartermaster took a deep breath. He can go ahead with his threat and murder Harry but the idiot would probably let him and request an encore to his  Shakespearean tragedy like turn him into a zombie or feed him to Eggsy.

“This is what’s going to happen.” Merlin glared at Harry, “ I’m gonna go back to my office and forget that this has happened. Literally. I will be aiming the amnesia dart to my neck and recover my blissful ignorance.”

—

A few days later, Percival sat by Merlin’s desk and announced. “ Harry looks happy for someone who just lost a would be lover. Fighting grief through one night stands perhaps? ”

Merlin stared at the agent. After a significant pause he replied.” I don’t want to know.”


End file.
